Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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