Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
