well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
