my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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