can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
