i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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