Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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