Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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