do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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