Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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