Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
