Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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