Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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