He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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