Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
