I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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