if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I love you. Go after that dick
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
