Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
