There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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