The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
