3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
where are you?
Hypothermia
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
