I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Drake has all the answers
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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