We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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