ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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