I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you didnt know i had herpes?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You made out with two different species that night
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
