i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
