she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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