I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Then you guys just all showered together...?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
