it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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