Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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