Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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