went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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