I want you more than these girls want KFC
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
