dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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