matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
