Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He did a backflip because drugs
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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