at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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