Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
porn star boner night. come get it.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
