I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
