I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
