I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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