pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
