I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
