Where did you get a picture of my penis
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
