suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
