So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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