I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
