the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
