No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
