Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
