Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize