Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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