Is it normal to miss your booty call?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
