how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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