SEEEEXXX PLEASE
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Randomize
