I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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