i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So much rum. So many feels.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
