Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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