I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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