i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
