You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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