listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Hippo gnu deer
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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